[Part 3] How 80's VHS Rentals Educated Trump
Trump's Presidency Adventures through films
"Welcome to Part [3] of series 'Be Kind, Rewind and Then Misrule: How VHS Rentals Shaped the Trump Presidency'. Here, we dissect how a self-proclaimed 'very stable genius' seems to have mistaken Hollywood schlock for Harvard lectures. Grab your popcorn as we fast-forward through four years of an administration that treated governing like a poorly-scripted straight-to-video sequel, proving that you can learn everything about running a country from your local video store. Who would have fecking known."
Twisting and Shouting Through the Presidency
Movie: Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
Character: Ferris Bueller (Actor, Matthew Broderick). Quote: ""Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself."
Character: President Donald Trump (Actor, Donald Trump). Quote: "Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country's representatives can figure out what the hell is going on."
In a comedic turn that would make John Hughes spin in his grave, Trump's presidency seemed to take its cues from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" – if the film had been reimagined as a four-year-long executive time. Much like Ferris's elaborate scheme to skip school, Trump's approach to governance appeared to be a series of impulsive decisions, each one more outrageous than the last, all while trying to stay one step ahead of the "deep state" (aka Principal Rooney).
Picture, if you will, Trump cruising down Pennsylvania Avenue in a borrowed Ferrari, not unlike Ferris joy-riding through Chicago. Instead of "Danke Schoen," we were treated to impromptu renditions of "God Bless the USA" at rallies and sudden policy shifts announced via early morning tweets. One could almost hear the collective sigh of White House staffers, their exasperation echoing the frustration of Ferris's put-upon sister, Jeanie.
The famous scene where Ferris hijacks a parade float to lip-sync "Twist and Shout" found its Trumpian equivalent in unexpected appearances at weddings in Mar-a-Lago or crash-landing press conferences in the Rose Garden.
As if channeling the spirit of the film's carefree protagonist, Trump seemed determined to turn every day into a parade, with himself as the grand marshal. Who needs carefully planned state visits when you can improvise foreign policy on the fly?
As the presidency unfolded, the parallels to the film became increasingly surreal. The tension of Ferris racing home before his parents found out about his day off was replaced by Trump's mad dash to fulfill campaign promises before the next election.
Instead of changing the miles on Cameron's father's car, we witnessed attempts to redraw hurricane paths with Sharpies. One could almost imagine Trump, like Ferris, breaking the fourth wall to explain his latest scheme directly to the American public.
In the movie's climax, Ferris narrowly avoids being caught by sprinting through backyards and arriving home just in the nick of time.
In our reality TV version, we were left wondering if Trump's political acrobatics – from one controversy to the next – were all part of an elaborate plan or just seat-of-the-pants governing taken to new extremes.
As this political coming-of-age story continues to unfold, one can't help but wonder: If this is our generation's "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," have we all been cast as Camerons in a world run by Ferris?
In an era where the president can declare a national emergency as casually as Ferris fakes a sick day, are we all just along for the ride in a stolen Ferrari of state? And more importantly, when this long, strange trip finally comes to an end, will we find ourselves wishing we could just stay home and actually get some work done?
Don’t Giggle. VOTE!
Rosebud: The Art of the 'Covfefe Deal'
Movie: Citizen Kane (1941)
Character: Charles Foster Kane (Actor, Orson Welles). Quote: "I am, have been, and will be only one thing - an American."
Character: President Donald Trump (Actor, Donald J Trump). Quote: "I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created."
In a plot twist that would make Orson Welles spit out his Paul Masson wine, Trump's presidency seemed to draw inspiration from "Citizen Kane" – if the film had been reimagined as a reality TV show with gold-plated toilets. Much like Charles Foster Kane's rise from humble beginnings to media mogul, Trump's journey from Queens real estate developer to commander-in-chief read like a modern retelling, but with more tweets and fewer sleds.
Picture, if you will, Trump standing in the Oval Office, not unlike Kane in his cavernous Xanadu, surrounded by gaudy decorations and priceless artifacts. Instead of collecting statues and exotic animals, we witnessed an administration seemingly intent on collecting conflicts of interest and questionable cabinet appointments. One could almost hear the collective groan of ethics watchdogs nationwide, their exasperation echoing the frustration of Kane's long-suffering business manager, Mr. Bernstein.
The infamous "Declaration of Principles" scene, where Kane outlines his lofty goals for his newspaper, found its Trumpian equivalent in campaign promises and inaugural addresses.
As if channeling the spirit of the film's ambitious protagonist, Trump seemed determined to make everything "the best," "the greatest," and "like you've never seen before." Who needs a coherent foreign policy when you can promise to make America great again in 140 characters or less?
As the presidency unfolded, the parallels to the film became increasingly surreal. The tension of Kane's failed bid for governor was replaced by real-world political rallies and cries of "fake news." Instead of "I'll Provide the War" headlines, we got all-caps tweets about "WITCH HUNTS" and "HOAXES." One could almost imagine Trump, like Kane, angrily dictating tomorrow's front-page news to a beleaguered press secretary.
In the movie's poignant finale, we learn that "Rosebud" – Kane's last word and the key to understanding his life – was the name of his childhood sled, representing lost innocence and simplicity. In our reality TV version, we were left wondering what Trump's "Rosebud" might be. A well-done steak? A perfect hair day? Or perhaps just the ability to fill a football stadium again?
As this political opera continues to unfold on the world stage, one can't help but wonder: If this is our generation's "Citizen Kane," have we all been unwittingly cast in a remake where "Rosebud" is replaced by "Covfefe"? In a world where the line between politics and entertainment has become as blurred as the portrait of Dorian Gray, are we all just extras in a never-ending news cycle?
And more importantly, when the final credits roll on this administration, will we find ourselves longing for the relative simplicity of a childhood sled to make sense of it all?
Don’t Giggle. VOTE!
The Presidential Blue Steel: Narcissism on the World Stage
Movie: Zoolander (2001)
Character: Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller). Quote: "I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is."
Character: President Donald Trump (Actor, Donald J Trump). Quote: "My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body."
In a twist that would make even the most jaded fashion critic do a double-take, Trump's presidency seemed to draw inspiration from the runway antics of "Zoolander" – if the film had been reimagined as a political thriller with bad spray tans. Much like Derek Zoolander's inability to turn left, Trump appeared equally incapable of turning away from a camera or resisting the urge to tweet at 3 AM.
Picture, if you will, Trump standing at the presidential podium, not unlike Zoolander at the "Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too." Instead of teaching kids to read, we were treated to lectures on the intricacies of "covfefe" and the art of drinking water with two hands.
One could almost hear the collective gasp of speechwriters worldwide, their exasperation echoing the frustration of Zoolander's agent, Maury Ballstein.
The infamous "walk-off" scene between Zoolander and Hansel found its Trumpian equivalent in Twitter wars and press conference showdowns.
As if channeling the spirit of the film's vapid model protagonists, Trump seemed determined to out-pose and out-pout his political rivals, one "Blue Steel" look at a time. Who needs substantive policy debates when you can settle differences with a "walk-off" on the White House lawn?
As the presidency unfolded, the parallels to the film became increasingly surreal. The tension of Zoolander being brainwashed to "Kill the Malaysian Prime Minister" was replaced by real-world concerns about foreign influence and questionable international relationships.
Instead of Mugatu's nefarious plots, we got late-night tweet storms and impromptu policy announcements that left world leaders scrambling like models on a collapsing runway.
In the movie's climax, Zoolander saves the day by unleashing his ultimate look, "Magnum." In our reality TV version, we were left wondering if Trump's version of "Magnum" was his ability to deflect scandals like so many poorly aimed ninja stars.
One could almost imagine him practicing his puckered lip pout in the Oval Office mirror, perfecting the look that would finally make America great again.
As this political fashion show continues to strut down the national catwalk, one can't help but wonder: If this is our generation's "Zoolander," have we all been unwittingly cast in a sequel nobody asked for?
In a world where being "really, really, ridiculously good looking" seems to trump political experience, are we all just extras in a bizarro America's Next Top President?
And more importantly, when the final curtain falls on this administration, will we find ourselves longing for the relative simplicity of a good old-fashioned "walk-off" to settle our differences? I really, really, don’t think so. Do you?
Don’t Giggle. VOTE!
[Part 1 of this series is found here]
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Johnny,
You always are spot on! These movie/character connections are incredibly revealing! How people cannot see the parallels, and really, cannot see what the orange man is made of, is something I'll never understand. Of course, it likely isn't that they don't see, but rather, that they WON'T see. Such a dysfunctional family we Americans belong to. I do pray that those who live outside of the USA realize that there are many of us who are SO NOT okay with the state of everything and that we are embarrassed and sickened by ALL of it! After the disgraceful win, so many of us are utterly horrified. So many of us are not reflective of the 'trash' he and his following represent. Do keep us in your thoughts and prayers; more so now than ever. ~Blessings, ~Wendy💜